two-legged coward

yesterday, i had my legs waxed. to some who know me well, this will be a shock. to others, you may wonder why this warrants declaration. i will give three reasons, in no particular order:

1. it was the most painful thing to which i have ever willingly submitted myself. it is difficult for me to imagine worse pain.
2. i put my well-being in the hands of a tiny, sadistic, chinese woman who i’m fairly certain could not understand a word i said, and vice versa for sure.
3. this event ended a three month shaving hiatus.

my shaving hiatus began in april when it occurred to me that the only reason i shaved was because of social pressure to conform to some arbitrarily arrived upon norm for leg hair. surely, there is no more pervasive norm that is so against nature. this irritated me, and the more i thought about it the more i needed a better reason than that to ever shave again.

i have never before been so incredibly self-conscious, and began to notice how pervasive the practice really is – even among my contrarian friends, everyone shaves. the double-takes and scornful looks i got from other women surprised me (although friends were supportive). the desire and power to punish deviants, no doubt a throwback to our caveman days, certainly is strong.

for a while i enjoyed my deviant status, and took pleasure in the incorrect stereotypes i was probably categorized under (especially when wearing my “this is what a feminist looks like” t-shirt). at first i derived a sense of moral superiority over the sheep herded up to shave their legs unthinkingly, where i, clearly a more enlightened being, had broken from such meaningless conformity. ah, humans. how weak they are.

but, honestly, i hated it. i mean really, really, hated it. althougth i had certainly internalized society's norm, i felt it was ugly and gross, and even after months, i wasn’t used to it. although able to avoid scorn most places, except the gym and the pool, i couldn’t take it myself.

coward? maybe. norms are present in all cultures, and we seem programmed to create them. i learned that sticking with norms has merit, if only to conserve psychological resources.

to celebrate my liberation from liberation, i shared a pint of ben & jerry’s with david. so good.

more on norms

FYI, wolford net hosiery is excellent at camouflaging, and is probably good to have on hand in case you can’t shave.

Labels: personal